Nervous Joy

Things are going well.

It’s hard to even write those words, as I’m such a nervous mess. But, things are going as well as I could possibly hope for.

Here are the numbers:

Friday (13 dpo): 44
Monday (16 dpo): 280!!
Wednesday (18 dpo): 560

And here are my beautiful lines:

I wish I could say that I was experiencing pure, unbridled joy, but I’m still just so riddled with worry. Our first ultrasound is Nov 30, and I will do my best to relax until then.

From an HCG perspective, this is the farthest I’ve ever made it. I made it to 175 for the first before my numbers crashed down. From a “number of days I’ve received positive, darkening tests” I am also the farthest along as I’ve ever been – seven. My previous record was six.

I am so nervous and yet: my heart just melts into a puddle as my husband touches my belly, and smiles at me, and I can see the little flames of joy flickering in his eyes.

Come on, little baby. You can do it.